I started it with three friends. We were all mathematically minded, and the site succeeded in large part because we applied that mindset to dating. Playing with the numbers helps us run our site. But as people bring technology deeper and deeper into their lives, it can show us profound and ridiculous things about who we are as human beings. Here are just a few examples.
Seven secrets of dating from the experts at OkCupid
Reading from the top, we see that 20 and year-old women prefer year-old guys; year-old women like men who are 24, and so on down through the years to women at 50, who we see rate year-olds the highest. Look more closely, though, and there are two transitions, which coincide with big birthdays.
The first is at 30, where the trend of male ages dips below parity, never to cross back. The data is saying that until 30, a woman prefers slightly older guys; afterwards, she likes them slightly younger.
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Wooderson, the character played by Matthew McConaughey in the film Dazed and Confused, apparently spoke for all men when he said: They stay the same age. Here are the top five phrases for white men and white women:. Ween a prog-rock band and mudding where you drive a car or four-wheeler through For comparison, here are the words for a few other large groups on OkCupid:.
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- Women latest;
These are the words people in the UK disproportionately use in talking about themselves. Every dating site has to have a way to measure how good-looking its users are. Unfortunately, despite our efforts, people still gravitate to the best-looking people.
- Most Viewed in Lifestyle.
- Will you still date me when I'm 64?;
- Will you still date me when I'm 64?.
Here are messages received each week, versus beauty:. The sharp increase at the right smashes down the rest of the curve, so its true nature is a bit obscured, but from the lowest percentile up, this is roughly an exponential function. That is, it obeys the same maths seismologists use to measure the energy released by earthquakes: Most of the fifty-something men I know have, at some point, been involved with women in their thirties.
And the relationships go one of two ways. Either they end in heartbreak, because the younger woman wants babies and the man can't bear the thought of starting over, or they stay together, and the man eventually becomes a father again in midlife. So why do so many older men hook up with younger woman? Well, the obvious answer is 'because they can'. But what makes young women so attractive to older men?
I mean, sure, their bodies are firmer, but why is this so fantastically important?
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Older men don't have a great deal in common with younger women, and it's an easy option in the long term. It can be enormously costly to start a new family in midlife, both emotionally and financially. Well, perhaps the answer is fear. For a man, an older partner is a constant reminder of his own age. He cannot pretend he's still thirty when he's waking up next to a fifty-year-old woman.
The Sydney Morning Herald
A younger partner is life-affirming. She helps to stave off his own fear of aging and mortality.
If a man can wake up next to a woman a decade or two younger, he can convince himself that he is still young. Interestingly, because we women have 'internalised the male gaze', the opposite can be true for us.
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We don't see ourselves reflected in our partner, per se; we see ourselves reflected in our partner's eyes. If our partner sees us as young and hot, we see ourselves as young and hot. If he sees us as aging and undesirable, we internalise that, too.